His grandpa sitting on the porch

A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa, what are you doing?” he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. “Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?” he asked again.

The old man slyly looked at him and said, “Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma’s idea!”

Bubba

Bubba, an airline mechanic, was bragging to his boss one day. “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name Someone, Anyone and I know them.”

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “Okay, Bubba, how about Tom Cruise”

“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends and I can prove it.” So, Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, “Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!” Although impressed, Bubba’s boss is still sceptical.

After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba’s knowing Cruise was just lucky. “No, no, just name anyone else,” Bubba says. “President Bush,” his Boss quickly retorts. Yep”, Bubba says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington.” So, off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Bubba, what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.”

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else. The new Pope,” his boss replies. “Sure!” says Bubba. “I’ve known the Pope a long time.” So, off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, this will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.”

He disappears into the crowd headed toward St. Peter’s. Sure enough, half an hour later, Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his Boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss’ side, Bubba asks him, “What happened”? His boss looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and The Pope came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, “Who’s that on the balcony with Bubba?”

New blue silk pyjamas

A man called home to his wife and said, “Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box? We’re leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up.

Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas.”

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she did exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said, “Yes! Lots of Salmon, some bluegill, and a few swordfish. But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to do?

You’ll love the answer……..

The wife replied, “I did. They were in your fishing box…”

Enjoy Life

🚩Between age 55 and the time of death, it is advisable to use the money you have saved. Use it and enjoy it.

Don’t save it for those who have no idea the sacrifices you made to obtain it.

Remember there’s nothing more revolting than a son or daughter-in-law coming up with great ideas to spend your hard earned savings.

🚩 Warning: This is also a bad time for investments, even if it sounds wonderful or safe. They only bring problems and worries

It’s time for you to enjoy life.

🚩Stop worrying about your children and grandchildren’s financial situation, and don’t feel bad about spending your money on yourself.

You cared for them for many years, and taught them what you can.

You gave them education, food, shelter and support.

Its now their responsibility to make their own money.

🚩Keep a healthy life, without much physical effort.

Do moderate exercise (like walking every day), eat well and sleep plenty.

It’s easy to get sick at this age and it becomes harder to stay healthy.

This is why you need to stay fit and be mindful of your medical and physical needs.

Stay in touch with your doctor, get medical checkups even when you think you are feeling good.

Please take care of your health.

🚩 Always buy the best, the most beautiful items to treat yourself.

The key is to enjoy your money with your partner.

One day one of you will miss each other, and money will not bring you any comfort; so, enjoy it together.

🚩 Don’t stress over the small things.

You have overcome so much in life. You have good memories and bad memories, but what matters is the present.

Don’t let the past train you and don’t let the future intimidate you. Must feel good in the present.

🚩Don’t lose sight of fashion trends for your age, but keep your own sense of style.

You have developed your own sense of what suits you so keep it and be proud of yourself. It is part of who you are.

🚩 Always stay up to date: read newspapers, follow the news.

Go online and read what people are saying.

Make sure you have an active e-mail account and try to use some of those social media.

You’ll be surprised by the old friends you run into.

🚩 Respect the young generation and their opinions. They may not have the same ideas as you, but they are the future and will take the world on their way. Give advice, not criticize, and try to remind them that yesterday’s wisdom still applies today.

Never use the phrase: “In our time.” “Your time is now.” As long as you’re alive, you’re part of the present.

🚩Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter. Life is too short to waste days on sad moments. Spend your time with positive and joyful people it depends on you and your days will look much better.

🚩 Don’t stress about having to live with your kids or grandkids. Of course, being around family seems great, but we all need our privacy too. They need theirs and you need yours

Do it only if you feel lonely and really need help or you really don’t want to live alone.

🚩 Don’t give up your hobbies.

If you don’t have one, make new ones.

You can travel, hike, cook, read, dance.

You can adopt a cat or dog, grow a kitchen garden, play cards, checkers, chess, dominoes, golf etc.

🚩Talk to people politely and try not to complain or criticize too much, unless you really need it.

Try to accept situations as they are when you feel you can’t do anything about it.

🚩 Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with age.

Try not to dwell on those hurts but accept them as part of life.

🚩If someone has offended you, forgive them.

If you have offended anyone apologize.

Don’t carry negative feelings around.

It only serves to make you sad and destroy you needlessly. No matter who was right.

Someone once said: “Holding a grudge is like eating poison and expecting the other person to die.” “

Don’t take this poison.

Forgive, forget and move on with your life.

🚩 Laugh. Remind yourself you are blessed.

You’ve managed to have a long life.

Many never make it to this age and some never get to live a full life like yours.

My dear friends, enjoy a quiet life at this stage in your life… Don’t stress yourself out… be happy !!