A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa, what are you doing?” he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. “Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?” he asked again.
The old man slyly looked at him and said, “Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma’s idea!”
Bubba, an airline mechanic, was bragging to his boss one day. “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name Someone, Anyone and I know them.”
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “Okay, Bubba, how about Tom Cruise”
“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends and I can prove it.” So, Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, “Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!” Although impressed, Bubba’s boss is still sceptical.
After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba’s knowing Cruise was just lucky. “No, no, just name anyone else,” Bubba says. “President Bush,” his Boss quickly retorts. Yep”, Bubba says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington.” So, off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Bubba, what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.”
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else. The new Pope,” his boss replies. “Sure!” says Bubba. “I’ve known the Pope a long time.” So, off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, this will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.”
He disappears into the crowd headed toward St. Peter’s. Sure enough, half an hour later, Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his Boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss’ side, Bubba asks him, “What happened”? His boss looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and The Pope came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, “Who’s that on the balcony with Bubba?”
A man called home to his wife and said, “Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box? We’re leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up.
Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas.”
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she did exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said, “Yes! Lots of Salmon, some bluegill, and a few swordfish. But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to do?
You’ll love the answer……..
The wife replied, “I did. They were in your fishing box…”
