💍 “Dad, can you lend me $10,000 for the wedding?” my son asked.
I raised an eyebrow.
“Ten thousand dollars? How much is the wedding going to cost?”
“About thirty grand. We already maxed our savings and took out a small loan, but we’re still short. You always said I could come to you if I really needed help…”
I nodded and told him, “Bring your fiancée over. Let’s talk.”
They arrived that evening. I welcomed them into my office, poured some coffee, and asked:
“Why does the wedding cost $30 k?”
“It’s our big day,” my son said. “We want a beautiful venue and a big guest list. She’s always dreamed of that.”
I looked at his fiancée.
“Have you always dreamed of a lavish party… or a happy marriage?”
She paused.
“A happy marriage—of course.”
I leaned back.
“The wedding is one night. The marriage is the rest of your life.
Going into debt for a party makes no sense. Most of those guests will drift out of your life within a few years.”
I told them about my own experience: a huge wedding, mountains of debt. Everyone ate, danced, and left. My wife and I were stuck with bills—no one else covered our rent or utilities. I’ve watched couples start out stressed, arguing over money, all for one Instagram‑worthy evening.
My son shifted uncomfortably.
“If you can’t help, that’s fine—but the lecture feels harsh.”
His fiancée stopped him.
“Wait. Your dad’s right. We can do something smaller, simpler, and focus on what actually matters.”
I smiled and opened my desk drawer.
Inside was an envelope.
“Here’s $20,000—but it’s not for the wedding. Use it for something with real, lasting value: a down payment, an emergency fund, a once‑in‑a‑lifetime trip you’ll remember long after the cake is gone.”
Then I added:
“A wise couple builds a life, not just a photo album.
The measure of a marriage isn’t how it begins, but how it grows day by day.”
They were silent, this time with gratitude.
đź’ˇ Takeaway
The worth of a marriage isn’t set by the size of the party—it’s measured by the strength of the commitment.
Starting life together in debt just to impress others is a risk to what’s most precious: your bond.
Invest less in show and more in the life you’re building—together.
